I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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