i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
