your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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