ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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