I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
