Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
