I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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