He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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