Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
