I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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