9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
