They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
