matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
