wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
