Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Enjoy the penises
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
