Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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