When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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