my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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