AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm always down for nudity.
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