What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
