Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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