Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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