taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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