so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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