left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
