We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
