is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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