I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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