He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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