At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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