Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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