Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
