We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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