dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
