Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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