bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
