There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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