I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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