I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize