i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
