also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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