Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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