hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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