Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The feeling are messing with the penis
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
