How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
