I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
