your parents love me but you hate me
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
