it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
