have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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