Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
