im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
