I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
