VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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