I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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